questions

i questioned God when i was a little girl

when my sister labeled retarded

sobbed to no end

her heart a broken creature

caged by a cruel society

hearts that don’t bend

*****

i questioned God

when i realized that a hamburger was a cow

those peaceful creatures grazing in fields swatting flies with their tails

are raised in squares and then dragged into hell

with no say so

*****

i questioned God

when i saw people i loved grow old and sick

when life is sucked

from their broken souls

in a wrinkled

worn body

a desperate face of sorrow

a long goodbye of grief

*****

i questioned God

when storms destroyed charleston

when hugo ripped an old city to shreds

and left the most vulnerable flooded in sea water and salt tears

*****

i questioned God

when i walked the streets of san fancisco

i saw men living in boxes

and men driving teslas simultaneously

the scale of what's broken

and larger than life itself

*****

i questioned God

when i watched the cruel indifference

of his so called human creation

the ugly hearts

the nasty weapons

the crooked smile at another’s suffering

the death of black or brown

by men sworn to protect in tainted white

immoral

a question

injustice

the answer

*****

i question God today

a deadly virus

a selfish people

a crisis to render

the world a pile of sticks

and empty accounts

hopeless on a scale of much

but inevitably bankrupt

*****

i question a God who would sit

and watch his masterpiece

a diatribe

against peace and harmony

against love

to be exact

restless and out of control

*****

the moments

i do not have a single question

are

when i catch a deer leap across sunset fields in a glow

or watch the sun set in orange and pink over waves of blue

when the clouds settle over the blue haze of mountains

i stand in awe

and when i see kind eyes

i have never met

catch mine

*****

how can a God create two realities

i cannot connect

the mystery of us

a generational faux pas

by a creator

genius as an artist

illuminating

the God inside of us

*****

photo @unsplash