To Feel Like a Doormat

Patty Brown
5 min readSep 30, 2018


Women often feel as if they are walked on like doormats. Day in and day out men walk all over them as if they can do whatever they want. Women apparently exist in a man’s world to make sure their men are happy. They dress to catch their men’s eyes. They build up their men’s egos. They put their lives on hold…every…single…day. This occurs across all socioeconomic classes. Throughout history women have been the follower, the side kick, and the pleaser. Why are we allowing ourselves to be less so that men can be more? What makes women forget they are “someone”.

Do you remember when Sheryl Sandburg started urging women to “lean in?”

If you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask what seat! Just get on. — Sheryl Sandberg

What she did not understand is that women with children at home, the family pets, and maybe an ailing parent can’t just hop on the rocket ship. It is called responsibilities, not a lack of ambition. How many husbands are going to take on those jobs and plus do their jobs for their spouse? Those jobs, sadly, have always been considered a women’s work. There are some great men out there who view women as partners and gladly share the work required to keep the family running: taking on childcare, family logistics, and household duties. Sadly, this is not the case for most women.

In many families the husband earns the larger paycheck. The wife may work, but her job is usually less valuable. If their are children, the wife must begin multitasking to care for the children and start her second job when she gets off work. The husband often does little to help, usually because he had a stressful day at his job. Most weekends the husband is golfing or fishing or some other relaxing activity, while the wife looks after the children and tries to do some of the laundry or complete house chores before the upcoming week. Because the husband is the largest earner of money, he more often feels it is his right to make financial decisions, as well as other decisions like relocations and travel, that affect the family dynamics. The rocket ship for most women seems impossible to board. The disrespect by the husband starts to erode the woman’s self confidence by the use of degrading comments and degrading actions by the husband. The husband quite possibly my only dole out money for expenditures he feels are necessary and often interrogate the woman over purchases. Or there maybe comments about the woman’s appearance by a husband who refuses to pay for makeup or other needs that are more important to a woman. Or the man may just say the woman doesn’t contribute to the family if she does not work outside the home. The husband is oblivious to the daily struggles of childcare and house duties. Once the kids are grown, it is ailing family members that become her responsibility, even if she has brothers. Suddenly in midlife the woman wonders what happened to her life.

It seems that roles, not just those of wife and mother, but in regards to sexuality, are always slightly demeaning towards women. Victims of sexual abuse are fearful about coming forward to tell their story. The story usually leads to “She deserved it”…maybe it was her makeup, her clothes, the way she walked, or the place where the abuse occurred. It is rarely mentioned that the man has no right to touch a woman without her consent. But in the past and in some religions, woman are taught to be submissive. For young girls growing up desiring approval from boys and men that they are attractive, many women feel conflicted over social norms and their inner voice. The “me too” movement has shocked the world by the degrading treatment of women by men. It is as if they had a right to violate women sexually and emotionally by wielding their physical or power of status over the female.


This second class treatment of women started many years ago. In recent years some strides have been made in regards to women rights. The “Me too” movement has opened many people’s eyes to what woman have endured when found alone and vulnerable with a man. Since the 2016 election, things, however, are going backwards.

“I did try and fuck her. She was married. … And I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, ‘I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.’ I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look….

“I’ve gotta use some tic tacs, just in case I start kissing her. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.” — Donald Trump

These shocking words were spoken by the man in the White House. The Vice President, surprisingly, refuses to meet with a woman without his wife present. It seems everyday someone in his administration berates woman in some degrading way. The surprising element is that there are women who actually support and vote for these men. It is voting against the best interest of women and the future of girls as they evolve into adults.

It is time for women to enjoy being themselves, feeling as if they could climb on the rocket ship if the opportunity presented itself. Men learned to treat women as doormats. They can just as easily unlearn it. The relationship between men and women is so much better when mutual support and respect exists. Currently, there are a lot of old men sitting in Washington afraid to give up their rule and status. But change is coming and not a day too soon. Woman are ready to spread their wings and fly. We all deserve to live in a society where everyone feels they deserve to climb aboard a rocket ship!



Patty Brown

If life steers you into a dead end road, and you are trying to find your way, skip the GPS, take the road with no traffic. Founder studiO, early morning poet.