the last year

i have remained

in the same place

over here

waiting for life

to stumble

into tomorrow

but everyday is wednesday

sometimes

sharing our lives

renders us in unexpected muck

languishing and stuck

do we unravel

into another day

wait and see

or forever live

on wednesday

like a song stuck

the words replay

and all stays the same

to grow older

as days slip away

I am a soul

growing bolder

longing for thursday

to break ground

and bloom away

— patty

art by Ting-an lin


i love being a stranger

to walk unfamiliar streets

go unnoticed

yet move as a local

to be a part

of the unknown

yet know my way

the immersion of self

into the foreign

the lands that lure us

to strange nostalgic places

yes

we are all foreigners

searching for home

we never ever

find it alone

we find it

in the mystery

of who i am

where do i belong

does your landscape

mirror mine

the more foreign

we become

the more

ironically

we become

just one

— patty

photo@ctt956


i was lying

on the floor

darkness

all around me

i looked

out the window

the sky

was sprinkled with stars

there was a golden sliver

of moon

casting a warm glow

i closed my eyes

imagined

i was somewhere else

an empty beach

a grassy field

on top a building

in old san francisco

the room so quiet

no one knew I was there

of all the places

i could be

i am here

but tonight

i am going

somewhere

out there

far far away

and there

i am gazing

from a new perspective

the same sliver

of golden…


i often imagine

watching my life in replay

contemplating

what i would change

the moments

i was afraid

the moments

i felt unsure

unworthy

unappealing

the moments

i settled

and ask myself

why

in retrospect

i would live everyday

in color

i would

put my words down sooner

open my arms wider

love bigger

and with a whim

of luck

i still have today

so

i will not let trivialities

get in my way

the road may narrow

but the weeds

look beautiful

as i paint

the only story

i own

my own

to be in love

with my life

the people

the places

the moments

my collection of treasures

all the while

aware

i travel alone

the long and diminishing road

— patty

art by sheree greider “road trip”


last night

i replayed

over and over

the police stopping

daunte wright

but when i saw his face

talking on the phone

i saw my son

i heard the voice

on the phone

it was my son

i heard the phone click

i woke up

my heart racing

and then i realized

it was a bad dream

the rest of the day

it replayed

and replayed

daunte’s nightmare

the fear

the adrenaline

the fragility of life

mistakes

are not death sentences

poverty

is not criminal

color

is not wrong

mental illness

developmentally disabled

genius

deafness

autism

scared

shy

adhd

dxylesia


there is a space

at the end of a sentence

with each breath

a pause

i gaze

i touch

time stands still

a birth

a death

my heart stops

joy and grief

the empty spaces

in my life

are the moments

i feel most alive

the awe

the wisdom

of an empty room

i search for it

the longing

of my heart

to pause

and feel my pulse

to look out

over the sea

i am frozen

and yet

i am in the moment

present

yet free

— patty


is there something

brewing in the universe

just for me

do dreams

really come true

will the sky open

infinite blue

i feel anticipation

swirling under me

the energy

i feel

yet cannot see

i wait

and wait

all might be late

clearly not the expected

yet the mystic

allows for mystery

serendipity

or will the train

leave the station

without me

as i watch

from the platform

as it pulls away

in the distance

out of sight

my arms dropping

at my side

the blank stare

of my life

my hair blowing

in the energy

not meant for me

— patty

photo@unsplash


i am aries

a world on fire

with bloom after bloom

no room for fear

i am a bouquet of red peonies

wrapped in brown kraft paper

surrounded by lush green leaves

i give myself to you

please take care

put me in a lovely glass vase

by the window

overlooking marshes of spartina grasses

the ever changing hues

the evolving

seasons of my life

old but new

please

no candles for me

on my april day

instead plant a garden

in my name

peonies by the blue

let me forever

smell the salt and the sea

and when I am gone

ashes in the pink sunset

lost in rolling waves

on a sun kissed day

let the red peony

grow in the garden

adorn the table

by the window

and think of me

— patty

painting- love is forever~red peony par marcia baldwin


if misery

is not enough

ghosts remain

they steal the sun

from the sky

the moon

from the night

the stars unplugged

on a clear black night

i watched

the daffodils die

life a graveyard

of heirloom tears

yesterday’s fears

creeping like a fog

year after year

a grandmother’s living room

draped in fear of dust

a door hinge dangles

once shiny

turns to dingy rust

a final attempt to keep it locked

dreams buried under worries

magnified

by four dead eyes

peering from beneath

the barren floor

they stalk the brain

leave damaged remains

as if misery is not…

Patty Brown

If life steers you into a dead end road, and you are trying to find your way, skip the GPS, take the road with no traffic. Founder studiO, early morning poet.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store